The Repentance of a Diva, Part 1

28 09 2009

This is, like, the best song that’s come out this whole year:

No joke, the best. I always have had a closet penchant for listening to R&B music. Beyonce is rockin.

BUT – the reason why she belongs on my blog isn’t just because she’s fab. I’ve been talking in my last few posts about the role men play in affirming femininity in women. Well, there is a corresponding trait in women that Beyonce has beautifully demonstrated for us with this song.

See, with both genders, there are strengths, and corresponding sinful tendencies. Men bring a unique brand of strength into the world. But if they choose to do so, they can use that strength to abuse and destroy, rather than to create and uplift.

Similarly, the heart of a woman is a demonstration to the whole world of beauty and mystery; but to show that to the world requires her to engage with the world in a dangerously vulnerable and intimate way. This potentially leaves her open to pain and abuse. So a woman may, instead, choose to close off her heart, and hide her beauty.

Disclaimer central here, because this is a dicey topic: I am NOT saying that it is sinful for a woman to protect herself! There are abusers in this world (verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual; even spiritual), and it is a smart and godly thing for a woman to protect herself from them!

What I AM saying is that once we’ve experienced pain in this world, we can choose how we will live from that point forward: Putting up walls to protect ourselves from ever being hurt again, or continuing to enter into relationship with this world in a way that allows for connection, but also risking pain.

The point of this post is to say that when a woman chooses to let down those walls… it is a powerful thing. That’s what I love about this song: She is a woman who has clearly been hurt in the past, a woman who has built up walls of protection around herself. And this song captures the moment of her turning away from that way of living, saying, “No, I’m not going to live that way anymore.”

It’s almost overwhelming.

Remember those walls I built

Well, baby they’re tumbling down
And they didn’t even put up a fight
They didn’t even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It’s like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin’
It’s the risk that I’m takin’
I ain’t never gonna shut you out”




One response

19 10 2009
Nintendo Samurai

I really like your point about putting up walls verses risking again after we've been hurt. I have seen in my own life, as that of others, that there is a strong and undeniable desire to "never again" allow oneself to be hurt. I don't mean to over-categorize, but it seems that people tend to do really want the walls up when it comes to lovers, authorities, and caregivers. Practically, that works out to be lovers, pastors, and parents. People I have known who have been burned by one of the aforementioned rush to build those walls so that never again will they be vulnerable to that kind of betrayal and pain.

Indeed, I have had conversations where every sentence a person speaks could have led off with the phrase "never again will I get hurt…" and then insert what they said.

It is an understandable response, but an ultimately self-defeating stance to take on life. Loneliness is no remedy.

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