Here goes. As I mentioned last time, I’m going to share some short and truly funny videos that tell a variety of stories about what sex, reproduction, and male-female relationships might “mean”.
This one’s from The Family Guy:
Capital L, capital O, capital L.
But let’s try to make this not only funny, but informative. This clip tells two different versions of the story of sexual relationships. And these are stories that, believe it or not, some of you might find yourselves actually believing.
Story #1: From the man’s perspective.
If Stewie were attending the retreat I mentioned in my last post, he would be urged to complete this sentence: “The story I tell myself about sex is…” (This is especially a propos, because in the clip, Stewie is literally telling himself a story!)
His answer? Sex and relationships are a game – or a war – of “every (potential) man for himself”. There are no friends in life. You’re all alone to fend for yourself. And even when you reach your objective (in this story, the egg), it’s likely to be a trap designed to “incarcerate” you.
It may sound ridiculous to think that people actually live this way; but I’m guessing you know some men who do. In fact, most men (me included) do on some level. It’s about fear of commitment. And fear of commitment isn’t just about fearing commitment in itself; it’s about being deeply terrified of what will happen to me if I let myself become deeply entrenched in an intimate relationship that I can’t get out of. I might find myself “trapped”, “incarcerated”, regretting my decision to enter in, or perhaps even finding myself pulled in deeper than I ever intended to go.
In this case, the man views the woman as a potentially smothering, consuming entity. My desires (“my objective”) may bring me close to her, but if I’m not careful I’ll be stuck, and I’ll never get out.
In this case, we might say that the woman is – consciously or subconsciously – looking for a man to trap. She suspects or fears that no man will ever willingly commit to her. The story she tells herself is that if she wants to be filled up by him, she must draw him in unawares and lock the door behind him before he realizes what’s going on. She cannot trust; she cannot be truly vulnerable; she cannot offer an honest invitation to relationship, because she is consumed by a fear of never being loved for who she really is.
So why am I talking about this?
I’m talking about this because this twisted version of the true story tells us something about men and women. It tells us that a man, at his best, is designed not to live a life of fear, isolation and avoidance (like Stewie Sperm), but a life of adventurous risk, willing to step out and offer both intimacy and security to a woman who longs for it. And it tells us that a woman, at her best, is designed not to use manipulation to assure that her longings are fulfilled, but to live life vulnerably and honestly, awaiting and wooing a lover who is willing to truly commit.
I’m also talking about this because both of these descriptions are evocative of God himself: He is willing, like a real man, to engage all of himself passionately in the adventure of loving and knowing your heart. And he is willing, like a real woman, to long insatiably for intimacy with you, wooing you with glimpses of his true heart, and patiently waiting for the day when you will commit yourself fully to him.