Here’s another video that takes a slightly different angle on the “Mr. Sperm meets Mrs. Egg” storyline:
This video is similar to the one I shared last time: It, too, depicts sex as a story of battle rather than a story of harmony and relationship.
But there is a slight difference. The “Family Guy” clip depicts the woman as the aggressor, seeking to “trap” the male. In this story, the man is the aggressor, actively seeking to destroy the “Death Star” – the egg.
Story #1: From the woman’s perspective.
Ok, set aside for a moment the fact that, in this story, the egg (representing the woman) is depicted as the super-weapon of an Evil Empire. Let’s just take the clip out of context and view it as it’s shown: A bunch of sperm “attacking” the egg so as to destroy it.
The woman who views sexual relationships in this way would say, “The story I tell myself about sex is that it’s unsafe! It’s a story in which a man wants to enter into my life, my heart, my soul, and my body not so that he can offer life and strength, but so that he can steal life from me.” What’s most true about sexual relationships in this case is essentially rape: violation.
This again touches on the truth that “your soul looks like your body”: Both men and women are capable of (and called to) vulnerability; and, in this broken world, both men and women experience the horror of being violated. But in this world, men are more commonly the perpetrators of violation and women are more commonly its victims. This is true physically as well as emotionally.
There are many in this world who have experienced such horror in their lives that the very idea of making themselves vulnerable again – emotionally or physically – is unthinkably terrifying. In this case, sexual relationships are about war. You can perhaps win by hiding from the battle, destroying your enemy first, or divorcing your emotions from the physical act of sex. But true vulnerability is out of the question.
Story #2: From the man’s perspective.
The man in this case is a destroyer, an abuser. But don’t go thinking this doesn’t apply to you just because you’re not overtly abusive! The core of this story from the man’s perspective is that sexual relationships are like a game of conquest. The man’s goal in this case is not to to pour out his life for another. Rather, his goal is to win.
So, yes, this applies to the abuser who hates women and wants to cause them harm. But it also applies to the seductive man for whom women are “notches on his belt”. And you? Maybe you’re a man who has rejected both the abusive and the “player” lifestyles, so you think you’re off the hook on this one.
Not so fast! There are many men in this world who don’t seem to be abusers or womanizers, but who are playing the Star Wars game with women’s hearts nonetheless. Maybe you’re a man whose primary goal in your relationships with women is to be pleasing: When you’re with them, you’re subconsciously looking for the smile or compliment or some other signal that says, “You’ve won me over; I’ve opened my heart to you a little bit.” When you see that signal, you feel good – almost like you’ve scored a point, huh?
If this describes you, then you’re kind of like me, and you’ve got some repenting to do. It’s time to repent of your “niceness” and realize that God’s called you to something greater than just pleasing others so you can feel good about yourself.
So what do we learn?
Again, this twisted version of the true story reveals something about men and women. It tells us that part of what it means to be a woman in this dangerous world is to wrestle deeply with the question of when and how to be vulnerable: Her heart, her body, and her soul are a great treasure, but revealing such beauty always comes with great risk. And it tells us that part of what it means to be a man in this world is to wrestle deeply with the question of whether to use his strength to score points in life and build up his own ego, or to give sacrificially of his strength to bless others, often at the cost of the praise that he craves.
And again, this story tells us something about God himself: About the Creator whose very essence is beauty, and who has allowed us to glimpse his treasures at great cost to himself: He has felt deeply the pain of our violations, but has forgiven us nonetheless. And it tells us about the Creator whose very essence is strength, who used his strength not to destroy us, but to fight for our souls, allowing himself to be reviled and hated in the process, ultimately giving his life so that we might have life.