Next up in the “The story I tell myself about sex” series is yet another home-made video about fertilization – with a little twist:
It’s amazing how many of these videos focus on a perceived conflict between the sperm and the egg. What does it mean in this case? Luckily, the creator of this video explains his purpose: He or she says it is a “Gender role twist on conception education videos”. So we see that, here, instead of the sperm “attacking” the egg (as in previous videos I’ve posted), we have the egg “devouring” the sperm. Let’s dig deeper.
Story #1: From the man’s perspective.
In this version of the story of fertilization, the man is something of a peaceful (if passive and passionless) innocent bystander. He wanders around aimlessly to the tune of some chilled out indie music. He and his bros have no real purpose or goal in mind; they’re just minding their own business when along comes Huge Mrs. Egg with her loud intimidating music and swallows him whole. (But to the credit of Mrs. Egg, he doesn’t seem too disturbed about this. He’s totally nonplussed.)
The man who views sex in this way doesn’t tell himself much of any story about sexual relationships. He’s a disengaged, “Couch Potato Sperm”. He minds his own business, and doesn’t do anybody much harm; but he doesn’t offer much good either. In the “Look Who’s Talking” clip from my last post, the woman played the passive role; now it’s the man’s turn. In this case, the man stays in the relationship not because he’s passionate about offering his life’s strength to a woman, but because staying in the relationship requires less energy than the alternative.
Story #2: From the woman’s perspective.
The woman in this case is the aggressor: Not in a destructive sense as in the Star Wars and Family Guy clips I started off with; but more in the sense that she is totally in control. She knows what she wants and she takes it. And she is seemingly completely unbothered by the fact that her man offers very little in the way of real relationship. On the one hand, she seems a little controlling and domineering; on the other hand, you find yourself wondering why she is settling for a guy who offers her so little!
A few key points of truth revealed by this clip:
1. There’s nothing wrong with a woman who is sexually alive. In fact, it’s a good thing! Pastor Mark Driscoll points out in his “Peasant Princess” series that in Song of Songs (the book of the Bible that is all about sex), the woman speaks first, speaks most, and is often the initiator. We could say that the egg in this video is sexually “hungry”; and there is nothing unfeminine or unrighteous about that!
2. It is sad when a woman settles for less than what she deserves. I have known situations in which a woman is comfortable being with a passive man: A passive man is safer, more predictable, and allows her to feel more in control of her life (a la the Galadriel quote from the picture above). But a fully alive woman will eventually find herself frustrated and disappointed by his refusal to bring his true strength to the table.
3. It is lame for a man to live a passive life. As a man, I think I can speak more strongly to men here: Men, if you watch the sperm wandering around in this video and think, “that’s kind of like my life”, then WAKE UP! You were meant to inject a greater kind of strength into this world. Those passionless sperm are the embodiment of impotence: If that’s you, then may your heart be broken as you realize that truth, and may you cry out and beg God to bring you to life!
4. True intimacy is passionate on BOTH sides. We should long in our relationships for the same thing God longs for in His: the giving and receiving of passionate love. If you are a wandering, passionless sperm in your life – or in your relationship with God – again I say, beg God to bring you to life!
My favorite 500 Days of Summer clip: A man breaks out of his passive mold, discovers his strength, and comes alive: